The Dark Side of Entrepreneurship Part Two
/Article originally posted on econic.co.
In The Dark Side of Entrepreneurship: Part One, I shared how I built a content business focused on the science of willpower—and the toll it began to take on me. This is the second part of my story about why I can no longer use my hands to navigate my phone, drive a car, or type the words you are reading now.
Photo by Mika Korhonen on Unsplash
At the spot we pick up in my story, I had successfully published my book. Yet, my blog and book audiences simply weren’t big enough and my debt continued to grow. My hands were also in serious need of treatment but I continued to defer it.
As you’ve likely gathered by this point, I’m not one to give up easily. So, I decided to think bigger and explore ways to make my business successful.
Spreading scientific knowledge
At this point, I had written about the research of neuroscientists, psychologists, and other experts that had decades of experience in their field. But after all of the heartache and pain writing had caused me, it was clear that this alone was not enough to make a valuable difference in people's lives.
The more I explored the topic, the more I realized that willpower is such a small part of what is possible to achieve through science. Top researchers in the fields of health, wellness, performance, neuroscience, etc. were also trying to get their research understood by regular people. At the same time, it was now 2016 and misinformation abounded.
As I assessed my situation, I noticed that I had:
A growing audience
Increasing marketing knowledge
Little credibility
A lack of scientific expertise
When it came to experts, there were plenty of people out there with:
Significant credibility
Plenty of scientific expertise
Little to no skills in marketing
A lack of understanding how to monetize their knowledge
As my last gasp to keep my dream alive, I decided to get in touch with these experts from around the world and see if we could work together to spread scientific knowledge further.
After reaching out to dozens of the experts that I respected the most, I was delighted that many of them were interested in working with me.
Educo Community was born. The focus of Educo, an online learning platform, was to help people put expert knowledge into action and achieve whatever greatness they seek.
As I gathered interest from the scientific community, I reached out to friends and family about investing in the Educo Community business model. I raised enough money to keep the lights on for the next six months.
Yet again, I found myself working long, hard hours for just enough money to pay the rent. I was going to ask even more of my hands without any money or time to repair them.
My right hand could no longer bear it. I wore a splint throughout the day. I could still type…barely—and I used my left hand as much as possible to give my right hand a break.
This was completely unsustainable. If I wanted to get work done, I needed to start thinking about other options. So, I searched Google for any alternative I could find to use a computer without my hands. The best option I found was voice.
Becoming a voice control early adopter
In 2016, voice control consisted primarily of dictation…and the technology didn’t work very well.
I was able to send emails and do a little bit of writing, but that was about it. In practice, it was actually more frustrating to use my voice than it was painful to type with a brace.
However, as time went on and I became more and more reliant on using my voice, technology and applications began to improve.
In fact, I began to see that there were some benefits in my predicament. It was slow and frustrating to do most tasks, but I could actually teach my Mac a wide variety of voice commands that sped things up.
Over the course of trying to get Educo Community off the ground, I was also finding more and more ways to get my work done with voice control technology.
Eventually, I felt like I reached a point where I could put my right wrist in a sling and do everything with my left hand and voice. Maybe this would give my right hand the break that it needed in order to heal.
This was a terrible decision. Putting my right hand in a sling meant that I was using my left hand for everything.
At first, it felt like this was working. My left hand was still strong enough to do most tasks and I was able to get a lot accomplished with my voice. My goal was to keep this up for a month. I figured this was enough time for my right wrist to heal and get back to normal. None of this came from a doctor or medical professional. It was me trying to solve all my problems on my own.
After two weeks, it looked like I was going to be OK. The pain in my right hand was going down significantly and I felt like it might heal completely soon. Yet just a few days later, the pain in my left hand worsened. It started feeling just as bad as my right one.
As this was happening, I realized that my right hand wasn't healed enough to get back into action. It had healed a lot, but it had also grown a lot weaker. I would need physical therapy to build strength in my right hand and ease back into typing again.
I couldn't type with my right hand. I couldn't type with my left hand. And, voice control was not yet at a place where I could rely on it without using my hands at all.
And yet, I still had a massive job to get done and my cash was dwindling. Plus, now I wasn't just risking my own money. Some of my closest friends and family invested in me and I could not let them down.
To get through the day and try to get Educo Community off the ground, I got a brace for my left hand as well. This was it. A wake up call. I looked down at both of my hands covered in braces, unable to perform any normal functions without at least a little bit of pain.
Still, I didn't seek professional help. In retrospect, I cannot believe the irony. Here I was, working with experts on a regular basis trying to figure out a way to communicate their work to the public. Yet, rather than seek the help of an expert in treating my hands, I was just relying on my own judgment.
“I was so narrowly focused on keeping my dream alive that I could not muster the self-awareness to take a step back.”
At this point I had poured so much of my blood, sweat and tears into my dream of helping individuals use the tools of science to unlock the greatness within them that I felt like I could not give up now. I was always asking my mind and my body for a little bit more.
I kept believing that success was just a few months away. Even with braces on both of my wrists, I was determined to figure out a way to make Educo Community a reality.
Building a voice technology toolbox
As I looked at those braces on both my hands, a thought occurred to me:
I am truly lucky to be living in this time.
I'm not working on pipes, in a factory, or in any position where I need to use my hands all day. I wondered…does the work I'm doing require the use of my hands at all?
The human hand is a marvelous tool. But it is not as marvelous as the human brain. I had the wealth of all human knowledge available to me on the internet and early tools that could help me accomplish the work I needed to. I resolved to use my brain to figure out how to get my work done without my hands.
At this point, I couldn't type on a keyboard, but I could at least tap on an iPad. Something about the hand movements of an iPad made it easier for me to get work done.
In 2017, iPads still weren't good enough to build websites, create and edit videos, or do many of the other things I needed to do in order to get Educo Community off the ground. So, I looked for a tool that would allow me to operate my Mac using my iPad.
There were two gems that I stumbled upon:
Alfred
Alfred is a really simple way to teach commands to your Mac. You can use it to go to websites, open emails, or perform certain commands like copy/paste and shut down in just one tap.
Alfred Remote is a feature that allows you to run all of these commands right from your iPad. Here are some examples:
With Alfred, I could go to a website with just one tap. This replaced the usual steps:
Moving the mouse to my web browser
Pointing and clicking
Typing in the website
Pressing enter
It may not sound like much, but my hands were in rough shape. And every tap counted. But, I needed more than what Alfred could offer. With Alfred, I still had to point and click using my Mac. I also could not type through the Alfred application. So I had to use the Mac dictation tool, which was terrible. It only picked up 60 to 70 percent of the words I said correctly…if it even realized that I was trying to dictate at all.
I had to constantly reset it and I tried all kinds of different mics to try to achieve on a Mac what I could on an iPhone or iPad. I needed a way to use that superior dictation tool to type on my Mac. In addition, I needed to be able to point and click by tapping on my iPad rather than using a mouse.
2. BetterTouchTool
After searching long and hard I came across the perfect solution: BetterTouchTool.
This was a tool sent from heaven. Below you will see a screenshot of my iPad. The area highlighted is one giant trackpad that allows you to move the mouse on your Mac by gesturing on your iPad.
Even better, the benefits didn't stop there.Tapping this area highlighted below allowed me to bring up my iPad keyboard and use it to enter subsequent words into my Mac. This also allowed me to use the iPad dictation feature for my Mac.
Moreover, it had a sidebar with customized commands:
While BetterTouchTool was quite buggy then, it has gotten better and better over time. With these tools in hand, I gained the ability to create a website, online courses and apps while resting my hands. Now, I just needed to find the right experts to be a part of the Educo Community.
TED talks, experts, and a new learning community
When I first started considering how to market the work of scientists and experts, I quickly realized there wasn’t a clear path. Some had a successful book at one point, but did not have much of an audience today. If I had learned one lesson from my failures to this point, it was the importance of an audience.
I needed experts with an audience. I also needed a way to of vetting the authenticity of the experts I would feature. The obvious solution to these two objectives showed up consistently in my YouTube feed: TED. Millions of people watch Ted talks every single day. Many of them are inspired by the subject matter expert and want to follow the advice given in the talk.
Despite viewers’ best intentions to follow the advice in any given video, it was only a matter of time before they moved on to other videos, other tasks, other work, and completely forgot about what the speaker specifically recommended.
What if I could work with the speakers on a way to help their audience take action through online courses and programs?
This would improve the experience for the speaker by expanding the reach of their speech and growing their audience further. Equally important, It would improve the experience for the user, better equipping them to take action on the advice in the talk and use it to improve their lives.
Thirdly, it would improve the experience for TED, which had to rely on sponsorships and advertising in order to fund their organization. If we worked together, perhaps this new business model could replace their need to rely on advertising. To me, this was a win-win all around.
Next, I reached out to speakers who I genuinely admired. I was delighted to discover they were interested. After that, I reached out to TED. Although they had some reservations, they were also open to talking.
I felt like I had it. If I built great programs with at least 10 experts, I felt like TED would might run a pilot program to see if we could make this user experience and business model work.
Once again, I set myself on that goal. I reached out and signed contracts with 12 TED speakers who believed in the vision. With their help, we got to work building online programs that would help their TED talk audiences apply the advice in the talk. With Alfred remote and BetterTouchTool in hand, I was able to do it…barely. My hands took yet another beating, but I got the job done.
I was ready to launch Educo Community to the world.
Defeat
At this point you may be wondering if I finally caught a break and succeeded with Educo Community.
Spoiler: I did not.
One primary (and significant) problem was that the whole business model relied on TED and the experts weren’t necessarily connected to their audiences. Like many other experts, these speakers did not have large audiences on their own. Even if they had millions of views, they didn't have millions of email subscribers or Twitter followers.
Because of this, TED needed to be on board if we were going to make this thing profitable.
This was my absolute last breath. I had no cash left. I had no credit left. I had no friends or family that had not already invested. Everything came down to this moment. The TED partnership was it.
With Educo launched, I got back in touch with TED to try to finalize a pilot program. Their response? Cold feet. Before they were willing to consider a partnership, they wanted to see proof of interest in the form of at least 1 million users. Educo Community had 1000. There was no chance of closing that gap anytime soon.
In retrospect, I think if I pushed them harder, I could have convinced them to do a small scale pilot program. Even if it was only just with one expert. But, I had no strength left after this latest setback.
Regroup
After everything, I needed to regroup. I couldn't do this anymore. There was no cash in the bank and no fuel in my tank. At the very least, my dream needed to be put on hold. With my tail between my legs, I told all of the speakers the bad news. All of the work they had done with me over the past months was for nothing.
Worse, I now needed to ask them for references. I needed to find some sort of job that would help me start digging out of this hole I had put myself in. Thankfully, Bill Eckstrom—one of the speakers I worked most closely with and admired the most, connected me with Josh Berry and Econic.
With braces on both of my hands and nothing but failure on my résumé, Josh gave me a chance.
Recoup
After joining Econic, I was committed to digging myself out of the massive hole I was in. I had more than $35,000 in credit card debt and a huge task ahead of me if I was going to ever heal my hands. I chose to focus on the debt first.
It took me a solid two years to pay off all $35,000. But by the end of 2019, I did it.
Unfortunately, that meant once again that I put my hands second. Physical therapy is a huge financial investment. And, I just wanted to get out of all of that debt so I could sleep peacefully again.
I continued with my hybrid of voice commands, BetterTouchTool and braces on both of my wrists for the full duration of those two years. I was able to get by and do my job, but my hands slowly deteriorated that whole time.
In 2020, four years after I first had issues, I finally went into physical therapy. But it may have been too late.
The reality I live with
Physical therapy helped but I never got close to being fully healed. I made progress, but I had major setbacks along the way. In October 2021, I experienced my worst one yet. The pain in my hand was so bad that it started shaking as I picked up a fork.
Until then, the issue was mainly limited to using technology. I could still pick things up, put on my clothes, and do most other every day things that require your hands. This was the first time that the issue extended beyond my work and into my every day life. I could not continue this way.
At this point, I took a medical leave from Econic and committed myself fully to finally healing my hands. After months of meeting with specialists with little to show for it, I was finally told that I would likely never be able to type on a keyboard or tap on the phone again.
Hope
As I write this using the help of voice technology, I’m unable to use my hands to work with technology at all—and I likely never will again.
You may be asking: Why is this section titled hope then?!
Despite my situation, I consider myself truly lucky. I still stand by my revelation back in 2017. In today's world, you do not need the use of your hands in order to do meaningful work. All you need is your mind.
I figured out a way to type the words you are reading now without ever touching a keyboard. I will find a way to do everything else by voice as well.
Discovering how to do this will give me—and anyone else who is willing to learn, a huge advantage in the world of tomorrow. We did not evolve to sit hunched over at a desk all day typing away. We evolved to communicate by voice. Technology has improved exponentially since I first started using it in 2016. It is only a matter of time before it evolves to a point where everyone is using their voice to create meaningful work.
As I continue to navigate this journey, perhaps we can discover the true potential of voice technology together. After all, our mind is continually seeking new ways to solve problems and accomplish meaningful work if we are willing to stay curious, expand our realm of possibilities, and take on hard challenges.